Poison

You gave me something. Called it love. It was poison. And then you made yourself the only cure. That's not love. That's the oldest trap in the world. And I walked right in. Went down smooth — didn't even taste it at first Felt like something I needed until I was cursed Didn't know I was hooked until I hit the floor Didn't know it was poison till I needed more Every time you pulled away the sickness came back fast Every time you came back I forgot what you were That's not love — that's a leash That's not love — that's a curse And when you smiled the pain would stop And when you held me I forgot That YOU put it there YOU — you put it there The poison and the cure — both YOU You're the poison AND the cure And I hate you for that Your smile is the medicine I'm crawling toward And I HATE that — I HATE that I hate what you made me I hate what I need I hate that the thing destroying me Is the only thing that sets me free POISON — that's what this is POISON — dressed up as his Crawling back for one look, one touch, one word Hating every step but going back anyway This is withdrawal — shaking, burning, cold Needing the thing that's killing me to feel whole Told myself it was love — nah it was dependency Told myself he cared — nah it was strategy He held the dose He decided my pain He gave me just enough to keep me coming back again And when you called the dying stopped And when you left I couldn't get up Because YOU are the dose YOU — you are the dose The poison and the cure — both YOU You're the poison AND the cure And I hate you for that Your smile is the medicine I'm crawling toward And I HATE that — I HATE that I hate what you made me I hate what I need I hate that the thing destroying me Is the only thing that sets me free POISON — that's what this is POISON — dressed up as his You knew exactly what you were doing. Nobody accidentally becomes someone's only cure. You built the sickness. You controlled the medicine. You decided when I suffered. That's not love. That's POWER. And I'm taking mine back. I'm finding my own antidote now Pulling your roots out no matter how much it burns The withdrawal is real but the cure isn't you I'll bleed through the poison — that's what I'll do Done waiting for your smile to make it stop Done crawling back every time I hit the drop I am the cure now I am the dose I choose myself — and that hurts the most You're the poison AND the cure And I hate you for that — I hate you for that Your smile was the medicine I crawled toward Not anymore — NOT ANYMORE I hate what you made me But I know what I need The thing that was destroying me Is GONE — I choose to be free POISON — that's what it was POISON — never again because I am my own cure NOT YOU — never you again I am burning out the poison WITHOUT YOU WITHOUT YOU I choose the pain of leaving Over the poison of staying NEVER AGAIN NEVER NEVER.